I wrote Fighting Cancer during the first year after my diagnosis of lung cancer. It was a blog that turned into a book. I think it will help those who are in the midst of it all, and their caregivers and loved ones!
Check out the following excerpt from Fighting Cancer!
Nine months ago on November 6, 2012 I was on my way to the ER
with a heart rate pounding at what I later found out was 260 beats per minute.
This was followed by a quick reset of my heart (for anyone who has never had an
SVU episode- the ER people stop your heart and obviously get it going again!)
The ER doctor recommended a chest X-ray.
No one was straight with me. No one there told me anything
except that I would be going home that day after a ‘few more tests” No one told
me they were going to admit me. In fact, all I was
told was that I was going to be released soon. Imagine my shock when five hours
later I was told I was going to be admitted for a CT scan that would take place
in the morning because their scanner was broken –. I talked to several doctors
that day and the pulmonologist voiced his concern that it might be cancer. All
of this time there was a lot of looking away by nurses and other personnel when
I asked direct questions. I had had nothing to eat this whole time and until
the whole ordeal was over the next day at 2pm I would get nothing to eat. The
hospital would keep me on a saline drip until that time. I found out later that
keeping a patient on a saline drip insures that payment will take place. The
rest of the day and night I was up and down going to the bathroom. My daughter
stayed with me, even though I asked her to go home and my son came up to see
me-but I told him to take care of Betty (my black lab).
I had gotten the information late in the day that I would be
getting the CT scan at 8am the next morning so I decided to tough it out, since
it didn’t appear that I had much choice anyway. We
got through the night and soon 8am turned into noon with no testing and no
visit my by any doctor. By now, it was November 7, 2013 ELECTION DAY! I had put
off early voting because I certainly had not planned on this happening. I was
getting beyond furious. I had had nothing to eat in over 36 hours, I had been
lied to repeatedly, I was given no answers, and the nurses were acting like I
was a pain in the A. This was just fine with me. They were about to find out
what a pain I could be.
Around 1 or so my daughter finally said she was going to go home
for a bit, shower and change and then come back. I knew this was my
chance for a break-out!
As soon as I knew she had cleared the hospital- I called out for
the nurse who had been patronizing me- and telling me I would soon get my test-
and to just hang on-blah blah. It was not her who had not eaten in 36 hours or
had been getting the bums rush for that long. Then an older supervising nurse
came in and tried to get very bossy and tell me to calm down. That was it! I
told her in no uncertain terms to get the doctor who had admitted me – NOW!!!! In
about 20 minutes the doctor came in and I told her I wanted released and that
we could set up further testing on an outpatient basis. She asked why I was so
mad. I told her I had not eaten-etc. And, that I wanted to vote!!!
She told the nurses that I would be released and they set up my
lung biopsy for the next day - on an outpatient basis! Anyone
who has been reading this blog knows what happened after all of that. I went
through a lot trying to find the right treatment center- trying to find the
right treatment, trying to stay sane. And, even today I do not know if I have
accomplished any of these. I do know I am in remission. I do know that I have
gone through many rounds of chemo and am now on maintenance Avastin which is
affecting my blood pressure. I do know that I now have neuropathy. My oncologist
has told me this may never go away and could be a lasting side effect of one of
the chemo drugs, Taxol. My hair is beginning to grow back in- it is mostly
silver gray-not too bad. I have gained weight from the steroids they gave me to
counter the side effects of the chemo. I cannot say that I have more good days
than bad days because on the whole I am just living my life as I always have.
What I have learned in these 9 months is this. Lung cancer patients do not
receive much support from the organizations structured around town. I am in a
horrible place financially, which was not the case when this began and I get
pissed off on a regular basis. On the bright side (LOL) I am mobile, can still
walk Betty if I want to, and my family and I put in a raised bed garden this
year. Those were all of the things I wanted to do or planned to do when I
bought this house just about this time last year. I turned 60 this year on
April 27, 2013 and that was a happy day. I am happy that I am here-and
experiencing all of this and I am trying to motivate myself to look outside
rather than inside myself. Inside can be a very dark place once the diagnosis
of lung cancer is revealed. A couple of weeks ago, my 82 year old mother went
to the dentist and was told she would need to have ten teeth extracted and this
would be followed by getting dentures. She told one of my sisters she hoped she
would not regret getting her teeth pulled. I hope she doesn’t too.
One of the side effects of Avastin that I have experienced is
teeth problems- hopefully I will not have to have ten teeth pulled anytime
soon!
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